Posts Tagged ‘experiment’

Run, Run as Fast as You Can, You Can’t Catch Me I’m Tom Cruise Man.

January 2, 2014

Things are taking a little longer than I had originally and optimistically anticipated. Having said that they’re still going and they’re going well unlike the ungodly experiments the scientists that produced this monstrosity are involved in:

Botched Tom Cruise Clone - Joshua Kahan

I had to take a short break.

The work sessions were never ending and days/weeks/months were running (see what I did there?) into one another. My concept of time was nonexistent and I completely lost all touch with reality.

It had gotten to the point where I would conclude sessions really feeling affected by the beauty of Tom Cruises’ face. At one point I considered getting some form of transformative surgery in order to make myself into him. When I closed my eyes all I could see was his face. Hell I was going to change my name to Tom Cruise it got that intense.

Still, it’s not as bad as the time I spent a whole summer indoors animating David Hasselhoff in just a leather jacket and underpants to Prince. Dark times.

Aaaaanyway the point is it will take a little longer for me to finish even if it costs me my sanity.


Josh

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I’m sick of George Lucas.

March 12, 2012

George Lucas clearly has no artistic integrity because not only can’t he leave well enough alone, he has to pimp out these wonderful characters that I and many others love.

Who here wants to see Chewbacca selling shampoo? I don’t. But it’s inevitable.

I saw these Vodafone ads and was angry. I didn’t cry, I’m past the disappointment. I’m just so full of rage.

JOSH SMASH!!

R2D2 and C3PO selling electronics disappointing, but I see what you’ve done there.

Darth Vader sellig PCs at christmas…you’ve lost me.

Yoda? Phones? WTF? Oh wait, I see it…You’ve got some 3D version of Ep1 The Phantom Menace coming out and you want to reinforce the mass perception of a CGI yoda over the puppet one you replaced in the film. Very nice. Very Clever. Vodaphone. Genius.

(I’ve altered these a little in order to bring out the true meaning of the ad campaign)

It’s an interesting debate as to whether an artist should be allowed to change their work once it’s in the public domain. The way I see it, once it’s out there in the public it has been given. You don’t take back gifts from people just like you don’t take back art and alter it.

What Lucas clearly doesn’t realise is Star Wars is bigger than him. Sure he started it but he had a huge team working on the original films so sole creative credit should not go to him.

Star Wars to me is a lot like a beautiful woman with a great personality, a couple of spots and a slight lisp.

It’s love at first sight, she’s perfect. However one day a few years down the line she gets a boob job, you don’t mind this so much because you like big fake boobs. Still it’s not enough for her and gets a nose job and a facelift.

You tolerate this because you love and tell her she doesn’t need it and that she was perfect before. Then you notice that her lisp is gone. You didn’t realise how much you loved that lisp, it’s silly really but it gave her character.

She then goes and gets a sex change. Several surgeries, some hormone treatment and a clothes change later you find that she’s not the person you fell in love with originally. Not only does she look alien and sound different but her personality has changed somewhat too. Having said that you still care for her because love knows no bounds and she is the mother of your children.

You soon learn that it has been her father who has been manipulating into changing herself because all he’s ever wanted in life is a son and hs wife has only given him daughters.

Furthermore he’s been messing around with science and has attempted to clone her in order to start over, but the cloning process was imperfect and he has created a severely mentally and phsyically handicapped mutant female child with possible psychic powers.

Now any sane person would have the father put away somewhere he could do no harm, yet he seems to be roaming free. It won’t be long now before we see the fruits of his unholy experiments lord help us all…

Josh

p.s.One Star Wars film in 3D will be released a year until 2017.